Monday, June 7, 2010

Departures

Friends. They're people we take for granted...people who know our secrets, and people we talk to about everything - the good, the bad, and everything in between.

But in reality, who of these people are our real friends? Do we throw the word "friend" around too easily, when perhaps, this person is just an acquaintance?

I'm not sure if it's because I have more clarity out here in the country of what's important, and who is important to keep close, or if it's just me thinking about things too much.

When Matt and I made the move to this new way of life, I thought that my close friends from NY would still remain close friends, despite the distance - if my best friends Bex and Lizzie, located in London and southern CT, and I are still connected (and we are), then surely living in driving distance would maintain a friendship.

However, throughout the past few months, I've noticed that some of those supposed friendships have fallen away completely, with much more ease than I thought a bond like that would warrant. That makes me sad, but it also makes me think back to those relationships. Perhaps those "friendships" weren't as strong as I thought, for various reasons.

Because of TMF, I've been able to forge some new friendships, with new people from all different walks of life, and I've been blessed to become friends with some of the most clever, genuine, and lovely people on the planet. These aren't mere acquaintances....no. These are people that, I think, will go the distance. I can see Matt and I still being friends with them, 10 or 20 years from now. I can see them supporting and encouraging us as we start a family and grow our business.

Could my departed "friends" have said the same? Reflecting on it now...I think not.

To the people that know me well...thank you for your friendship. I treasure every smile, laugh and even the more serious topics we sometimes cover. I care about you very deeply and am blessed to call you a friend.

7 comments:

Suz said...

Aw Kace, I could have wrote this exact same post 4 years ago when I moved to the country. I've also made some great new friends who understand what life if like when you live in the middle of nowhere...admittedly though, it took me a bit longer than a few months to do so! :) Foster the friendships that you have, new and old...life has a way of weeding out the ones that aren't really true friends afterall. I'd rather have a handful of real friends, than dozens of good time friends! :)

Catherine said...

KC, I went through the same thing when I left the big corporate life and settled into the non-profit world in my little town. Looking back, I wonder what I ever had in common with some of those "friends." I do believe that shedding friends is a natural thing and it makes room for new ones. I shed a few last year and it's a good thing...it opened up room for you and Aislinn and Kim and Cyn. And you are all so caring, interesting, funny, witty and sweet that I can only feel lucky. I keep my friends to a handful...but they are true!

Love,
Catherine

Sapphire said...

Some people come into your life for just a season, other people stay with you for your whole life, so while you can and should mourn that loss, think of it like shoes. Some shoes are seasonal, they look fantastic, and you love them, and they make you look good but you can't wear them next season, then there's those that you will have until they are well worn and you keep getting them re-soled. That's what a lifetime friendship will be. I'm happy to call you my friend, even though we see each other once a year <3

Rebecca said...

You just have to think fondly of the good times you had with them, and then let them go. Believe me, I know how you feel - not many people keep in touch when you leave the continent. But I still have you!! :) Love you loads honey.

Aislinn said...

KC, That was so well said. I feel blessed - really - to have met you and the other horsewives. I only wish Cat was here too, but with the amazing technology that we have today, it's almost like she is.

I try not to lament lost friendships, and hold most of their memories in photo albums that I glimpse through every once in a while. I've had great times with some of them, and others have only drained every ounce of energy that I had. I can say that today, I've learned to spend time with only those people who are genuine, compassionate, and bring out the best in me.

I sincerely believe that I've found that with this group.

Cynthia D said...

KC,
I honestly thank God for you, Matt, and the other Horsewives.

Love,
Cyn

KC said...

I have been meaning to comment on all your lovely comments, but every time I start, I can't seem to find the words to express how blessed I am to have all of you in my life!

Julie - with the shoe analogy - YES. That I can understand, and yet, amazing how footwear can also be applied to people?

The Horsewives (and Cat, who is an honorary or Future Horsewife) - you ladies are remarkable and you are the new friends I speak of. It's so refreshing to be open an real with such dynamic, interesting, and altogether different women!

Bex - you know I love you loads too!! xoxo

Suz - you are wonderful! You are my country Zen master and my garden guru. I LOVE getting your thoughts and opinions!! xoxo