Wednesday, July 28, 2010

When Bugs Attack

They're coming for me.

In fact, they already have.

I don't know what it was about today, but I have had the day from the Planet Fly, cicada, dragonfly....take your pick.

Bugs are taking over TMF. And for whatever reason, they're determined to let me know they're alive and well.

Earlier this afternoon, I had watered my (weed-covered but veggie yielding) garden, and was walking back to the house. As I crossed the driveway, I heard a buzzing noise, that got closer, and I slowed my pace, I started to get a little concerned. And I had good reason.

A cicada launched itself at my chest, and immediately ricocheted down my tank top! A bug the size of a golf ball is buzzing around under my "It's Time for a Hug of War" tank top, and I begin screaming bloody murder, leaping like a drunk gazelle all over the driveway, frantically beating and swatting at my shirt - all while Mojo looks on from about 10 feet away, without an ounce of concern on his face.

Yes, a bug that looked like this:

Decided it wanted to take up residence with Victoria's Secret. Nice.

Later in the evening, I had just fed the horses and was ambling back to the house (are you sensing a theme here?), about to get Matt from the train. As I'm making my way across the mud paddock, I was hit square in the forehead. By what, I didn't know.

Until it decided to lodge itself in my hair and freak out over being stuck.

Yes, a dragonfly decided to do a kamikaze dive into my updo, and it wasn't happy.

Neither was I.

Screaming bloody murder commenced again, all while clawing at my head, attempting to get my hair down in order to set the wayward (large, buzzing) dragonfly free. Shaking my head, running in a haphazard zig-zag pattern to the hose (if it was really stuck, the hose was the only alternative), the dragonfly managed to free itself and calmly lift off and float away, content after scaring the living daylights out of me. Again, the animals at the scene weren't worried in the least - they got dinner and a show tonight.

I'm heading out for night check now with a giant blue buzzing light. I dare you to come get me now, bugs - go ahead, make my day!


Cassie's Mom said...

Aw Kace, I can just see all that transpiring :) I love being out in the country but detest bugs so I would have been doing the same thing! Though I don't know if I would have thought about the hose, good thinking!

lizzieblue said...


JayZ said...

LOL!!! said...

My sympathies. Why do they always go for the HAIR.
Tonight on the Boston Harbor is was a giant, brown moth. Huge. Like 1.5 inches in length. My husband tried to tell me he always thought they seemed like a mild bug, even looking a little like a butterfly. Yeah, right. I asked him to shoo the thing away and as soon as it dive bombed me, commenced screaming and jumping. I hate bugs.

Catherine said...

KC, this post was so funny! I'm still laughing :-) You're such a good writer!

Sapphire said...

I can picture this so well as I laugh myself silly!

Arliss said...

I agree, hilarious and wonderfully written post! So funny! :)