December 28, 2009 was hands down, the worst day of my life thus far.
It was the day I said goodbye to someone who altered the path of my life forever. Someone I told all my secrets to. We grew up together, had incredible highs and lows together, and he made me into who I am today.
One year ago today, I lost my beloved Midnight, suddenly to colic.
12 hours prior, Matt and I were enjoying a lovely afternoon with some very good friends of ours, Mike and Julie, who are from California. After they left, the rest of the evening involved frantic calls to vets, walking Midnight in the freezing cold night, and finally having my mom race over and lastly, good friend Carla with her trailer to take him to a 24 hour clinic where he'd have round the clock veterinary care.
When it was clear he wasn't going to pull through, I had to say goodbye to him. But, in his own way, he let me know it was time to go, and he was ok with it.
Zeus blazed into my life just a mere 2 days later, but it took months for me to recover. I still remember meeting loyal blog reader Aislinn for the first time, a month afterward, and barely being able to keep it together as we talked about Midnight at a restaurant. Aislinn, like so many others, gave me her thoughts and helped me realize that it's ok to be sad, but to also know that he is just fine, wherever he is.
I never forgot how many emails, phone calls, comments, and even artwork I received. Midnight touched so many lives, and I never realized how special he was to so many people. I was so overwhelmed and grateful to know that other people felt that Midnight was as special to them, as he was to me.
Somewhere, Midnight must have known that the path that led us here - to Wingdale, to Zeus and Siggy, and onward to Akindale - was a path that would define the next chapter in our lives. Although the loss was monumental, I have been able to bring home 2 horses who needed us as much as I needed them. And, I am now helping horses every day - horses who, like Midnight, just needed a little attention and lots of love to flourish.
I wonder if he misses me. I see him not only in Zeus sometimes, but in other horses too - Chief, Flurry, and even in moments with Topaz.
I miss you too, Midzie.